Maureen Dowd opines ~

It looks like Maureen Dowd and I may be somewhat in accord. The dialogue below, is from my (8.30.2005) blogpost, Genesis Revisited.

When God finished extracting Eve from one of Adam's ribs, he felt bushed. He sat under a nearby shade tree with Archangel Gabriel and they uncapped a cool bottle of Jack Daniels.

"Phew...what do you think," God asked, after taking a good swallow of whiskey.
Angel Gabriel sipped deeply from the same bottle and responded. "Great job, old man. But you know what? I think you’ve got this whole human creation thing bass-ackwards."
"What do you mean," God retorted?
"No disrespect intended, Lord. I simply mean you should have created Eve first, not Adam."
"Why so," God asked?
Gabriel hastened to explain."It would make more sense if the woman, who you have already fully equipped with all the organs of reproduction would be central in this birthing process? Think of it, your Supreme Holiness, most men won't be like Adam. They are not going to be so gung-ho to have their ribs cracked, just to reproduce children."
"Hmm! Go on," said God.
"Look," Gabriel replied, "Had you created Eve first, you could have instilled your divine spirits into her and pretty soon baby Adam would have slid out nice and easy from her womb and not herky-jerky, crunchy-crushy from one of her ribs. Isn’t the womb thing what we plan to do with the Virgin Mary when her time comes to deliver Jesus?"
"By George! Who the hell is George? Never mind! You've nailed it, Gabe. The man is just an accessory. Except for the few sperm he squirts on the egg, he’s no longer necessary. You’re right! Let's place the woman at the center. Why didn’t I think of that?"
"Paterfamilias, you have more important things on your mind. The universe depends on you. It’s your Patrimony, as our Latin speaking people will soon be saying."
"Thanks, Gabe. You’re a good consigliere as our Italian speaking people will soon be saying. Now that we know better, let’s call this whole motherhood and marriage thing, Holy Matrimony!
"By all that’s holy, you are now making the omelette without cracking the shells, you're really cooking!"
Nodding affirmatively, God went on. "And while women are birthing, nursing and caring for their children, we'll not let their men interfere. We'll get them to sculpt statues, build bridges, play sports, fight wars, distill whiskey and anything else to keep them from brooding about being only accessories."
"Divinely declaimed," exclaimed Archangel Gabriel! Then with the bottle at his lips, and his great white wings gently flapping, he drained the remainder of the Tennessee Sour Mash.

Dear Maureen,

Certain Jewish friends of mine think you would make a good mohel, but others demur. They are afraid that in your zeal, you might carry some circumcisions too far.