Whither?

Escape From the Nursing Home

NY Times Op-Ed by Ira Rosofsky

1/17/2007

Given our present circumstances, this was a very timely article for Lenore and me to read. Here is what I excerpted from it:

$75,000 is the average yearly charge for living in a nursing home. How it is paid depends on one’s physical and financial status. A welfare recipient gets by with Medicaid. But few elderly people or their families make a considered decision to move to a nursing home. Imagine living out your life in a hospital-style room with only a curtain for privacy; a place where strangers are free to walk in to poke and prod. Add to that the constant distraction of ambient institutional noise.

Assisted living (the halfway house between home-sweet-home and the nursing home) is a far superior terminal living arrangement. Its current projected cost is in the neighborhood of $35,000 a year. Medicaid plays no role in this option.

If we are helplessly disabled or infirm, staying at home and having in-house medical and domestic care can be immensely costly. Health aides are paid approximately $20 an hour. Multiply that by 24/7 and the yearly figure can quickly rise to about $165,000.

Of all the alternatives, aging in your own home, with good willed (but minimal) assistance by family and friends, is the most appealing. It has intrinsic merit. But it requires a happy alignment of fate and destiny.

Commentary

Lenore and I are currently aging at home. But for how long more, is not entirely within our power to control. Two years ago, she broke her hip and had to have a month of rehab in a nursing home. That traumatic experience left its mark on her thinking and feeling.

We are both quite advanced in years but fortunately, up to now at least, we can still pool and share some of our remaining senses and mental faculties. Where my hearing and vision have eroded sharply, hers are remarkably acute. Where I have great difficulty with phone conversations, she has trouble simply orienting herself on that infernal, cordless instrument. But, as we never did before, we now prepare every meal together, from start to finish. Our leisure time, which we covet, is spent in our comfortable family room where we read, watch TV and make good use of our laptop computers.

Distressed by the "wrinkles" on her face (which I don’t see) Lenore keeps applying all the latest miracle lotions and creams. But as I gaze at her, all I can see are mermaids and sirens. We dine sensibly and we libate with prudence. All year round we take our daily walks on our beloved hills. Happily, we stay physically fit. Regrettably, however, we don’t golf as we used to and she no longer bowls.

Fortunately, we are financially comfortable and until now, I don’t think we are a burden on our children. They and their children are loving, attentive and understanding. We have never felt isolated. We also have many friends here with whom we have much in common, especially our senescence. And we are most grateful for the care and medical attention we receive at the Mt Kisco Medical Group.

We are now actively conferring with our attorney, Joseph L. Latwin of Wolff & Latwin, LLP, Purchase, NY 10577. It is essential that we make appropriate plans for this penultimate stage of our lives. To die together would be a blessing. But if we don’t, much will depend upon which of us predeceases the other. But not to worry, we're in no hurry to go.

Hello you sprightly 92 year old: An unusual coincidence ~ you look from your photo amazingly like a well known amusement caterer from Rhyl in North Wales. He built up a tremendous business empire of bingo halls and arcades. But he was also, like you, a long distance sailor. When he was about 84 he sailed right across the Atlantic to your East coast, BY Himself!!!! His name was Solly Parker. Sadly he deceased about four years ago. He was nudging 90 ~ Mike Amiabankrobber, Wales

Dad This blog about you and Mom did me in. I made the mistake of reading it at work and I had trouble composing myself for a little while. I'm so glad you two have each other. I can't imagine it any other way ~ Loretta

This blog has significant meaning to me. I am faced with the care of my darling wife and I employ aides 24/7 to take care of her since she is no longer able to help herself. The figures you quoted are correct. Eternal optimist that I am, I pray that we will find a solution ~ Tony Correoso

Mozzarella in Carrozza

Mozzarella in Carrozza

If southern Italy is known for nothing else, this grilled cheese sandwich is universally acknowledged to be its most important culinary creation. Taste it once and you will become addicted to it for the remainder of your life. While there are many known ways to prepare it, the instructions that follow are fairly basic and traditional:

Two sandwiches:

Make a paste of two anchovy fillets, adding to it a dusting of oregano, pepper (or chili powder) and a bit of olive oil. Spread it on one side of each of the four slices of bread. If your grocer is well stocked, you can find tubes of prepared anchovy paste. Do not over-paste the slice.

Lay parallel cuttings of mozzarella (about 1/8 inch thick) on two of rhe slices of bread. Close both sandwiches.

Whisk one egg and about 2 ounces of milk in a bowl. Pour the batter into a shallow soup dish and gently lay each sandwich into the mixture. After about a minute, turn the sandwich to soak both sides.

Place both sandwiches on a "non stick" pancake griddle that has been brought to medium heat. Flip them after a minute or two. When they are golden brown, as in the photo above, they are done.

Be prepared to savor them while they are hot. You will need a knife and fork to keep yourself from becoming inextricably entwined in the milky white strands of the melted mozzarella.

Buon appetito! And happy visions of the Golfo di Salerno!

Hi Dom ~ You had me salivating, looking at that Mozzarella in Carrozza picture and recipe - that's my favorite. Another option is to leave out the anchovies and make a sauce with olive oil, anchovies and capers and then drizzle it over the sandwich. That's good too ~ Chrissy

Dad ~ Loved your blog on the two recipes. I totally forgot about the Mozzarella Grilled Cheese that Mom used to make. I made it when the kids were little, but I haven't done so lately. Great suggestion on those late nights when you don't know what to make for dinner ~ Loretta

Pomodori Celeste ~

Phonetic ~~ Po-mo-DAW-rree Cheh-LESS-teh

I've been informed that when God and the Archangel Gabriel sit down for an impromptu lunch or dinner, the kitchen invariably serves their favorite appetizer, "Pomodori Celeste."

To prepare it: (here on Earth)

Slice your tomato evenly (use a slicing machine or an automatic slicer). Place the slices on a dish and moisten them slightly with olive oil. Sprinkle pepper and salt evenly over the tomatoes and then gently dust them with powdered oregano and dry basil leaves (fresh basil, if available, greatly enhances appearance and flavor). Then lay a small slice of mozzarella over each tomato and ladle a full tablespoon of ricotta in the center. Refrigerate and serve chilled.

Cheat! Taste a bit of heaven before you get there. (Enlarge the photo by left clicking over it ~ you'll want to eat them off your screen)!

Be Civic ~

Interesting, but not totally unusual day ~

Drove with Lenore to medical appointment this morning.
Same 2 week old, very slight vibration of steering wheel.
Stopped at Target on way home ~ Awesome store!
At parking lot, passerby tells me my left rear tire needs air.
Went directly to Brewster Honda.
While waiting, met Karen ~ Fascinating young woman.
Works at leaddogmarketing.com ~ it markets sporting events.
Guess what ~ She once knew my grandson Neil Gabriele.
A few years ago, he was her group’s fourth employee.
They now have thirty eight.
We exchanged website URL’s.
Honda shows me 2 nails they pulled out of tire.
Two options ~ repair or replace the tire.
Too old to risk unnecessary uncertainty ~ Replace!
Eternal gratitude to the guy who spotted my deflating tire.
Thank you Honda for speedily resolving my problem.
Stopped at Baldwin A&P.
Fantastic store ~ Found everything we needed.
Drove home.
My Civic once again drives as smooth as silk.
Got home happily and safely.
Blog had many visitors today ~ One from Singapore
Lenore and I prepared and ate a fantastic "gourmet dinner"
While she had Chianti, I sipped (what else?) Jack Daniels.

And how was your day?

Hey Papa ~ Just saw your post about running into Karen Ashnault. That is an amazing coincidence. How did you make the connection? I enjoyed working with her. How are you doing? Things in Westport are good. Katie and Annie are great (they are keeping us very busy) Happy New Year! ~ Neil

Hi Neil ~ You know me, "Civic" is my middle name. Many years ago I discovered that people are eager to communicate. Everyone has things to share and talk about. When she told me about her occupation, it was perfectly natural for me to ask her if your paths had ever crossed. I'll forward your e-letter to her. Happy to hear that all is well in Westport ~ Papa

Arab vs Jew ~

Arab Media Suggests "Zionists" Executed Saddam

From whence cometh this malevolent animosity that most Arabs and Muslims bear towards Jews? Could its seminal origin lie in this well known Old Testament tale, which the Qu'ran cites but revises?

Paraphrased ~ Abraham, 90 and evidently impotent, was urged by his barren wife, Sarah, to have sex with Hagar, her Egyptian slave. He did so, and to Sarah's dismay, Ishmael was conceived and born. But later, with God’s help, Abraham and Sarah produced their own child, Isaac. Although the Lord foretold that both lads would have myriads of descendants who would rule over many people, He pointedly told Hagar that her son would become a "wild man, his hand raised to all men."

When Isaac "his only son" was 13, Abraham "envisioned" that God ordered him to sacrifice the youngster. But the Qu’ran, written more than a thousand years later, declared that it was Ishmael who was the "promised son" to be sacrificed. What is clear, however, is that neither boy was slain. At the penultimate moment in both versions an angel (probably Gabriel) intervened and directed Abraham to slay a ram, instead. But Islam attaches the greatest importance to the sparing of Ishmael; it commemorates the event with its three holiest days of the year, Eid al-Adha (Feast of Sacrifice).

Jews regard Isaac as their progenitive link to Abraham, whereas Arabs and Islam revere Ishmael as their connection to the patriarch. But Ishmael was the offspring of a concubine, while Isaac was Abraham’s legitimate son. Has this offended the moral sensibilities of Arabs and Islam? Is this what kindles their rage? Does the Qu’ran’s version of the Bible’s story endeavor to reinforce the transcendental nature of Ishmael's relationship to his father, Abraham?

Irony: Many believe that Saddam’s execution was rushed. It was concluded only a few minutes before the advent of Eid al-Adha. For him, no angel intervened ~

Comment:mailto:domgab1914@comcast.net

It's time !